2012年6月3日星期日

took longer than he had supposed

He wanted to get away and think; but now that he had done it thebusiness proved as unfruitful as everything he had put his handto since he had left Venice. Think--think about what? Hisfuture seemed to him a negligible matter since he had received,two months earlier, the few lines in which Susy had asked himfor her freedom.   The letter had been a shock--though he had fancied himself soprepared for it--yet it had also, in another sense, been arelief, since, now that at last circumstances compelled him towrite to her, they also told him what to say. And he had said itas briefly and simply as possible, telling her that he would putno obstacle in the way of her release, that he held himself ather lawyer's disposal to answer any further communication--andthat he would never forget their days together, or cease tobless her for them.   That was all. He gave his Roman banker's address, and waited for another letter; but none came. Probably the "formalities,"whatever they were, took longer than he had supposed; and beingin no haste to recover his own liberty, he did not try to learnthe cause of the delay. From that moment, however, heconsidered himself virtually free, and ceased, by the sametoken, to take any interest in his own future. His life seemedas flat as a convalescent's first days after the fever hasdropped.   The only thing he was sure of was that he was not going toremain in the Hickses' employ: when they left Rome for CentralAsia he had no intention of accompanying them. The part of Mr.   Buttles' successor was becoming daily more intolerable to him,for the very reasons that had probably made it most gratifyingto Mr. Buttles. To be treated by Mr. and Mrs. Hicks as a paidoracle, a paraded and petted piece of property, was a good dealmore distasteful than he could have imagined any relation withthese kindly people could be. And since their aspirations hadbecome frankly social he found his task, if easier, yet far lesscongenial than during his first months with them. He preferredpatiently explaining to Mrs. Hicks, for the hundredth time, thatSassanian and Saracenic were not interchangeable terms, tounravelling for her the genealogies of her titled guests, andreminding her, when she "seated" her dinner-parties, that Dukesranked higher than Princes. No--the job was decidedlyintolerable; and he would have to look out for another means ofearning his living. But that was not what he had really gotaway to think about. He knew he should never starve; he hadeven begun to believe again in his book. What he wanted tothink of was Susy--or rather, it was Susy that he could not helpthinking of, on whatever train of thought he set out.

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